Somebody HELP ME!!

OK, I'm just a puppy so don't be two hard on me for my typos and misspellings. It's not so easy to type when you don't have an opposable thumb, you know.

Anyway, I have to do this quickly, my human could come in and see me using the computer and she'll probably spray me with water, which I HATE.

But, oh my god, this is so horrible. I heard my human this morning talking with another one about me. My human said that as soon as my balls come out, she's going to have them CUT OFF! Criminey! What kind of a thing is that to look forward two? What did I do to deserve to have them lopped off? My human said that I can't be adopted out till I'm sterilized.

I'm sooooooooooooo distraught by this. And, here is the worst part. I heard on NPR (my human plays it all the time) that the Army was recruiting dogs for duty in Afghanistan - to sniff for bombs. But, they will never take me after my nuts are just a dream of better times! As the Word Nerds know, everyone will call me a pussy once my boyes are "hasta la vista".

So, someone has to come to my rescue. Someone please please please come free me from my human. Don't let her nips off my balls in the bud.

I AM SERIOUS, I NEED SOMEONE TO COME SAVE ME!

Holy Sterilization, I can here her coming in the house so I better go now...........